I REALLY KNOW HOW TO PICK EM, YOU KNOW? ABOUT A WEEK AGO I SELECTED IMANI GANDY, THE SELF-PROCLAIMED ‘ANGRY BLACK LADY’, AS MY FIRST ‘LIBERAL PROFILE IN COURAGE’ WINNER, EXCELLING IN NARCISSISM, PROJECTION, RACISM AND SEXISM.

A FEW DAYS LATER I WAS FORCED, RELUCTANTLY, TO BLOCK HER ON TWITTER BECAUSE SHE RECEIVED THE AWARD WITH HER CHARACTERISTIC CHARM AND HUMILITY, WHICH IS TO SAY, SHE ACCUSED ME OF SELECTIVELY EDITING HER UN-EDITED TWEETS AND SPAMMED HER TWITTER FEED WITH LINKS COMPLAINING ABOUT ME TO SEND HER MINIONS MY WAY.

SO WHAT HAS OUR AWARD WINNER BEEN UP TO IN THE MEANTIME? WELL, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, SHE MANAGED TO BRING SHAME TO THAT AUGUST EXEMPLAR OF JOURNALISTIC STANDARDS.. THE RAW STORY. WHERE SHE HAS A GROUP BLOG.

FOR THE MOMENT, ANYWAY.

It recently began publishing a blog devoted exclusively to venerating the President and sliming his critics: because that’s so edgy, brave and rare; after all, the meek “MSM” would never dare glorify the nation’s most powerful political official and the party in power, so we really need a brave, dissident anti-MSM site like Raw Story to provide that. That blog promptly humiliated Raw Story this week by publishing a totally false and baseless Internet “rumor” that Wisconsin’s GOP Gov. Scott Walker “impregnant[ed] his college girlfriend and, after encouraging her to get an abortion, abandon[ed] her.” 

WOWSER.

YOU MIGHT THINK IT WAS HARD TO TOP RELEASING AN UNSOURCED, UNTRUE HATCHET-JOB IMMEDIATELY BEFORE A MAJOR ELECTION, BUT NEVER FEAR, IMANI GANDY CAN FIND A WAY.

LIKE, SAY, SIGNING ON A CO-BLOGGER WHO REACTED TO CRITICISM OF OUR GLORIOUS WAR OF THE DRONE BY ACCUSING GLENN GREENWALD AND JEREMY SCAHILL OF BEING TALIBAN ALLIES AND POSSIBLE TRAITORS.

WITHOUT REMEMBERING THE ‘OBJECTIVELY’ PART THAT HELPS ONE AVOID LIBEL LAWS. OOPS.

AT WHICH POINT THE GROWNUPS AT RAW STORY (THEY EXIST!) FINALLY STEPPED IN AND PUT ON THE BRAKES. PITY! IT WAS JUST GETTING GOOD.

(KEEP IN MIND THE SORT OF STUFF RAW STORY PUBLISHES *WITHOUT* RETRACTION WHEN FOLLOWING THIS STORY)

SO, TRAGICALLY, GANDY HAD TO APOLOGIZE FOR THIS HILARIOUSLY WACKY CONDUCT. WOULD SHE LIVE UP TO THE STANDARDS OF THE ‘LIBERAL PROFILE IN COURAGE’ AWARD?

I’M THINKING: YES.

TAKE THE RETRACTION ON THE UTTERLY FALSE SCOTT WALKER STORY. IN IT, SHE BLAMES THE AUDIENCE FOR NOT GETTING THAT HER JOKE (WHICH, STRANGELY, SHE ASSERTED SHE HOPED WAS TRUE AND WOULD DESTROY WALKER’S CAREER)

Dr. Gillick says she decided to come forward after watching Scott Walker in the debate last week, droning on about his integrity and lookit me! I’m a Boy Scout! It pissed Dr. Gillick right off because Scott Walker has no soul.

HOLY CRAP, RIGHT?

I hope this is true.

It’s about to get velly intellesting in Wisconsin. Seriously. If anything can destroy a political campaign, it’s being pro-life, encouraging your girlfriend to get an abortion, and then having a secret love child.

YES, COMPLETELY THE AUDIENCE’S FAULT FOR FAILING TO SEE SHE WAS JOKING THERE. NOT AT ALL THAT SHE RAN WITH UNVERIFIED RUMOR ON THE EVE OF AN IMPORTANT ELECTION IN THE HOPES (AS SHE ACTUALLY STATED) OF CAUSING A CANDIDATE TO LOSE.

DON’T BELIEVE WHAT SHE SAYS *NOW*, BELIEVE WHAT SHE SAYS.. EVENTUALLY.

BUT THE FAUX-POLOGY FOR THE ‘TALIBAN’ COMMENT REALLY SHINES.

YOU’VE GOT YOUR PASSIVE-VOICE-IMPLIES-I-AM-NOT-REALLY-RESPONSIBLE-NON-DENIAL-DENIAL:

Sometimes rhetoric gets overheated and politics becomes personal and it’s at those moments, we need to stop and think.

OR YOU COULD ACCUSE YOUR CRITICS OF BEING PRIVILEGED MEN, OR DENOUNCE THEM FOR BEING WHITE. ALSO GOOD.

YOU’VE GOT THE PROFOUND LACK OF SELF-AWARENESS:

And I don’t want anyone who supports me or enjoys my writing to think that I support or enjoy extreme, outrageous, or dehumanizing attacks on him or anyone because of public disagreements.


AND FINALLY YOU’VE GOT THE APOLOGY CLOSING BY SAYING THAT THE BEST THING THE PEOPLE SHE’S ARGUABLY WRONGED CAN DO IS.. FINANCIALLY SUPPORT HER ‘ACTIVISM’.

NOT MAKING THAT UP.

So please, if you care about women’s rights and you support what I’m doing, the best thing you could do is throw in and help with my projects and not contribute to this kind of distracting rhetoric that ultimately lowers the discourse and makes us into people we don’t want to be as liberals.

WOULDN’T WANT TO LOWER THE DISCOURSE, EH, GANDY?

HECK, SHE CAN HAVE MY SECOND WEEKLY ‘LIBERAL PROFILE IN COURAGE’ AWARD TOO! IT’S WELL-EARNED!!

UPDATE: CORRECTED NON-PARALLEL STRUCTURE IN A COUPLE OF SENTENCES, REMOVED DUPLICATE PICTURE, SHOT TWO TYPING AUTONS.